Soon as I Get Home 🤎👩🏿‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏿✨

When I think of romantic love I think of the warmest, fuzziest, deepest, genuine feeling you could ever imagine and I just assume that's what it would feel like. I assume because I've never truly experienced love in that form before. I am a dreamer with a hint of hopeless romanticism, and I love to dream about love. "How would love come to me?" "How will I know?" "Would my lover be handsome?" "Of course, he'd be handsome, but will he be sweet?" "He has to be sweet." "Will he buy me flowers?" "I pray he never stops buying me flowers." "Will he love me, like will he truly love me with all my flaws and insecurities that I still have?" "What if he sees all of me and thinks it is just too much for him to handle?; what if I'm left out in the cold again heartbroken?" It's pretty tough thinking about love sometimes. You want it so badly but the fear of being vulnerable & open with someone threatens your ability to obtain it. All my life, love has been the focus, I've been searching for it since I was a teenager, while it seemed everyone else around me got into relationships & found love numerous times. 25-year-old me is currently not searching anymore. The maturity that I have obtained during the years has taught me to not seek but to be still in this hope for love. I have dealt with many men that have shown me what love isn't, and only God knows how much I have cried thinking I have found love only to have been misled. It took my last two encounters with men that I thought would be my forever, to realize you can't go looking for love in a person because that's not where you'll find it, love is within yourself. When you nurture that love within yourself you'll recognize it easier when it finally comes your way. I honestly can't wait for the moment when I recognize, oh wow this is love and I know it is because I've felt it with me first. I am currently nurturing the love inside of me. Trust me it is not easy, and it is often very lonely & truthfully sometimes I miss the men that used to fill that void of loneliness but I'm so far from that. My love and the love that will come to me is/will be pure, warm, honest, genuine, real, powerful & the sweetest energy ever experience. Nothing is perfect, and knowing that now I do not expect love to be perfect either, but I know when my love comes for me it will be right. So to my future lover; may our love be modern enough to survive the times & old enough to last forever.

I love you

-Ify